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Betrayed and Denied

If you have ever been in a romantic relationship that hit the skids, you probably have a gut-level response when you hear the phrase, "betrayed by a kiss."  But the truth is that intimacy is not only romantic; that same crushing betrayal can come from parents and siblings, from friendships, and can even be found at work when your loyalty is betrayed by a coworker or corporation.  Our level of pain often mirrors the depth of intimacy, and so to be betrayed by someone close enough to kiss causes deep pain.  In the pain of betrayal, we often feel terribly alone and we begin to wonder if we are even worthy of love.  But did you know that Jesus himself was betrayed with a kiss?  Mark records the incident in chapter 14:

43 Just as he was speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, appeared. With him was a crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests, the teachers of the law, and the elders.
44 Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: "The one I kiss is the man; arrest him and lead him away under guard." 45 Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, "Rabbi!" and kissed him. 46 The men seized Jesus and arrested him.

This man, one of the twelve disciples, among the closest people to Christ when he walked the earth, betrayed his Lord and friend with a kiss. In that moment, Judas used the closeness of their relationship to hand Jesus over for persecution and execution, all for a bit of notoriety and a few coins.  In our pain, we can cry out to a Jesus who does not have to imagine the sting of betrayal because he has experienced first-hand the pain and consequence of investing in years of life and work with someone only to have them act out in their own cruel self-interest.

Jesus had actually predicted these actions just a few hours before, along with another disciple's denial.  Peter, a man who once walked on water with Jesus, says he could never deny knowing Jesus--could never deny following him.  I feel for Peter.  I would like to say I would never deny God; I may even say so in an earnest moment of faith (as I think Peter did).  But I also know that I have neglected to show up in countless ways for the people I love.  I know that I have shied away from difficult discussions or failed to advocate for people I respect.  I know that fear can be an overwhelming motivator sometimes.  I could be Peter any day of the week.

One of the reasons I appreciate the season of Lent, is because it highlights these unflattering moments in the lives of those who follow Jesus, reminding us (me) that it does not matter how close to him we (I) may be, there is still probably some way we (I) have denied, maybe even betrayed, Jesus over the last year.  It is a time to take stock of things done, and left undone, for which I truly need his saving grace.  When are the times the Spirit called for generosity or encouragement and I remained closed off or silent?  When did I act in my own self-interest at someone else's expense?  When have I denied the plain truth of scripture because it was hard to live out?

Believe me when I say it is difficult to read the denials of Peter because in them, I catch a glimpse of myself.  Here is how Matthew captures the conversations in chapter 26:

69 Now Peter was sitting out in the courtyard, and a servant girl came to him. "You also were with Jesus of Galilee," she said.
70 But he denied it before them all. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said.
71 Then he went out to the gateway, where another servant girl saw him and said to the people there, "This fellow was with Jesus of Nazareth."
72 He denied it again, with an oath: "I don't know the man!"
73 After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, "Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away."
74 Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, "I don't know the man!"
Immediately a rooster crowed. 75 Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: "Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times." And he went outside and wept bitterly.

I am brought almost to tears myself when I read this passage.  We can dismiss this story as that of a weak man who caved under pressure, or we can envision our own weakness and grieve our own fault.  I believe Lent is a time to grieve, to lament, to face the truth of who we are, the role we play in Jesus' road to the cross.  We surrender to our need for a savior and cry out from the bottom of the pit...and our compassionate savior will come to the rescue.  Remember, though he knew that Peter and Judas (and you and I) would betray and deny him, Jesus still chose to call them (us), to serve alongside them (us), and to offer redeeming forgiveness and healing salvation.  Praise God!

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